Being a Virgin in 2013

          Let me keep it real. I’m 20 years old, in college and still a virgin. (Laughs) yes, yes I am. How did it happen? Or not happen? It just sort of did. Yes I had a “boy fried” but like I said before, he never pressured me into having sex so it was something I kind of pushed to the back of my mind. Yeah I thought about having sex with him from time to time but for some reason I always knew that we would never do it… and we didn’t. Being a virgin in this society and generation now is a good thing and kind of a bad thing to. It’s a good thing because I’m somebody that nobody has had. I’m fresh, pure, a “good girl”, and everything else you can add in. People who come across me being a virgin look at me in two ways; 1. It’s a good thing, and I don’t or shouldn’t rush into anything because it’s not worth it. And 2. People who look at me like what you waiting for, you need to get laid, maybe that’ll ease you up some or something like that (laughs). I try to block it all out and sometimes it does force me to think like “damn, I am really a virgin and I’m 20, maybe I should just do it and get it over it.” But then I think “Naw, I like being a good girl." And it makes me realize that in almost everybody sex is really everything and it’s sad and it’s almost always the topic of discussion. It’s not technically a bad thing being a virgin now especially since it’s rare but if you look at it kind of sort of is… maybe. Sometimes it’s just hard because you have those people who don’t believe you because it’s so rare especially me since I’m way older, and it’s so much pressure and temptation. When your single like me, and you just got out of a “relationship” and you try to move on, you kind of don’t want to because sex is something a boy will always want and it’ll always be one of those factors you can’t ignore.

             For instance remember that boy I briefly talked about in “An insight of “my relationship?” who asked me to come spend the night? Yeah, after me and that other “boy” broke up, I started talking to him. He was a guy I really liked and somebody I was sexually attracted to. One night I did end up staying with him and of course we were kissing and all that other stuff, and he made a move. I told him not tonight, and after a little more talking and that other stuff, he just came out bluntly and said “I wanna have sex with you.” I was lost for words, and I kind of just proved my point. That night of course nothing happened and we ended up never talking beyond that night.

            So like I was saying before, its hard moving on because when you’re a virgin and your trying to move on and the guy your talking to wants to take it a step further, and you don’t, that’s kind of the ending point of that potential “relationship” in the sense of continuing to talk, unless he does keep you around because nobody has “had you” and he wants to be your first which is another pressure added on, because when you do come across other guys, I feel like they will always try to your first just because they want the sex. And this is why I remain by myself and don’t care if I talk to anybody or not. Sometimes I do get bored and I miss having that male around too talk to but sometimes it is what it is. Being in college around so many boys doesn’t make it any easier; it is extreme temptation around here. A lot of guys on campus are so good looking (laughing) and their just like every other boy. They want sex in some point of time; it’s what college is mainly about in some aspects. But don’t get me wrong, there are some who are not like all the others, but there hard to find. Sex is just something I'm not ready for because it's not a big deal to me. So since I am in college and trying to keep my grades up is my main focus, boys are not a main priority and I’m just fine. Always have been and always will be.