As
we grow up, were always told “Never judge a book by its cover.” It’s a lesson
we always hear but never really listen to. And like many others, I’m guilty of
this. You meet someone new and in the back of your mind you’re deciding who
this person is, or what you think their like. Sometimes people are right, but
I’m always wrong. I don’t read people as well as others might, and sometimes
this gets me in trouble…
So
there’s this guy that’s been eyeing me since freshman year, he has tried to
talk to me a few times but I never really paid him any attention. We would see
each other here and there; give each other the googlie eyes and what not, and
that’d be it. Until this semester, I finally got his number. Now the reason why
I paid him any attention in the first place was because to me, he didn’t look
like the typical guy (BIG MISTAKE to even think that) you know the ones that
only want to (fill in the blank). So I decided to go for it, I mean why not. As
a woman, you need just a little male attention here and there. I’m single,
tired of being around females all day every day and I could use a guy to talk
to, so why not? So my friend and I are chilling in her room deciding if I
should text him, I originally wanted to wait until the next day, but she encouraged
me to text him right then and there, so I did: “This is Melony, save my number,”
A real simple way to get things going here. He replied when he felt like it
(the next night). I knew from that moment this wasn’t going to go so well, but
I continued to entertain it anyway. Friday night when he texted back telling me
to “slide through” his dorm, my phone was dying so I wasn’t able to reply.Saturday, my friends and I went to an apartment off campus to a small kick-back, say around 11’oclock-ish. We’re chilling and having a good time, I get a text message from him asking me what I was doing, where I was at, basically a little small talk for him to lead his way into asking me to come over. One of my friends was getting tired and wanted to head back to campus, I knew at this moment I had to make the decision on if I wanted to go to his room, so that we could walk back to campus together. At this time it was a little pass 12’oclock. In my head I knew this was a booty call but I wanted to be in the company of a male. The friend that I was walking back to campus with, told me not to go, she kept telling me “don’t go, don’t go, he’s only going to try to “hit” (Hit- have sex). I didn’t listen…
It’s about 1 am when I get to his room. He puts on a movie (this is a move everybody knows and knows that you don’t ever really watch that movie. This is called the “cap-up”). We lay down and within five minutes he starts making his move. After a few minutes of fondling, I told him I was a virgin, he told me that “that was what’s up” and asked me what I was waiting for. A question I’m asked a lot, and often find myself dumbfounded in hesitation, I just replied “I didn’t know”, it had seemed easier. For the rest of the night, we just chilled and fell asleep. When I left the next morning, it was awkward and I knew that “this” was no longer a “this.” Feb. 8th it’ll be 2 weeks since that night and 2 weeks without us texting and even speaking to each other, and a week and some days since finding out he’s mad because he didn’t “hit” but who’s counting. I’ve noticed now that he avoids eye contact with me when we see each other, before all this I use to catch him staring at me all the time, now it’s like nothing ever happened.
Being
a virgin bites you in the ass sometimes because of three reasons. 1. Nobody
wants to be “bothered” with you because it’s a chance you’re not giving it up.
2. Nobody cares you’re a virgin, they just want to hit. Or 3, Your always left
dumbfounded in hesitation when people ask you what your waiting for. My best
friend once told me “Sometimes you have to realize that all boys are not the same,
but believe the majority all have the same intentions, no matter how they go
about it, at the end of the day, they want only one thing.” For me, I should
have already figured this out a very long time ago, but I like to give people
the benefit of the doubt. I don’t like judging people, especially boys when it
comes to this type of thing because sometimes I like to believe some boys are
different. My friend also told me “you have to pick and choose who you want to
entertain.” I chose to entertain him because of all the time that passed by
with us “liking each other” but too scared to say something, so when we finally
got to talking; it was all for nothing and I was better off crushing on him
than I was paying him any mind. It’s sad when somebody just can’t have something
with someone that doesn’t require something sexual. And it’s my fault for
judging him in the first place. In this generation, you can’t put anything past
nobody; you have to stay alert and open-minded at all times no matter what. It
was wrong for me to sit there and think “oh he doesn’t look like the type that
only wants to have sex” and as it turned out, he was. When things like this
happen to me, I’m the one left stuck and in trouble because once I like you, I
like you. Now I have to sit here every day, play it all off and try not to
care. At the end of the day, I don’t, but I do because I thought he was
different. And instead of people cheering me on and being shocked that someone
my age is still a virgin; I get told things like “Nobody checking for virgins
no more.” It’s like I’m out of style, or corny cause I’m still a virgin or
something. There are no hard feelings, if he wants to talk again or even hang
out one day, then okay so be it as long as he knows what it’s not “hitting”
for. I’m interested in seeing where “this” goes, all I can do is be patient and
wait it out, and that’s if there’s anything to even wait for…
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