Confidence, self-esteem and the media? Is it all related ?

There is one more thing I’d like to talk about before we get into the flow of the “juicy” things and my views on other topics and so forth. This topic is something I’m sincerely passionate about and take very serious when it comes to females. And it’s my look on CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM.

            My favorite definition of CONFIDENCE is “the quality or state of being certain” (Merriam Webster Dictionary). Having confidence is so important, and sometimes is so hard for girls to have and understand. If you don’t have confidence, you don’t have anything. Confidence is how you get to where you want to go, where you want to be, and so many other things. It makes me more mad than upset when I hear negative things girls say about themselves. So many girls doubt their true beauty because of what others think or feel about them. But who cares what they think? Who cares how they feel? I know I don’t so why should you? When people come to find out how you view yourself, they’re going to treat you like that. If you think you’re too fat, skinny, ugly, to dark, or whatever, that’s giving them the “okay” to call you names and talk about you. Beauty doesn’t have a weight, race, or complexion requirement. God made you the way you are for a reason and you don’t go against it, unless it’s for a health reason or whatever. But other than that who cares. (Laughs)

            People always compliment me on how much they love my confidence, and how well I look at myself. And that’s ok and all but sometimes is makes me think like “Well aren’t people supposed to feel this way about their selves?”  Sometimes they’ll even say “Your one of the prettiest big girls I ever met” or “You’re not one of those sloppy big girls, you take well care of yourself.” That’s fine too but the reasons why I am pretty are out of my hands, and why I take good care of myself is because I have CONFIDENCE in myself and I like looking nice and feeling pretty. I’m not going to dress sloppy and look nasty because I’m a big girl and people feel like all big girls can’t dress nice. And if people think that, then there’s something seriously wrong with them.

PAUSE:

            Some people might ask “Well Melony, how come confidence automatically jumps to looks?” And I’m glad you asked and thought about that young grasshopper, because that’s not necessarily always the case either. Confidence doesn’t always have to be all looks. “Well Melony, what are some other ways confidence can be looked at?” Well, confidence can be in what you do and not necessarily how one might look. For instance, if you have a job interview coming up, if you have to present a presentation, or something like that, having confidence and showing that, is how you’ll get that job, how you’ll overcome the nervousness you may feel presenting that project and what you may be trying to sell to your audience. If you show that you’re confident in things you are bringing to the table, then most likely you’ll succeed and people will have confidence in you as well.

            Now back to the other confidence, since this society is so F’d up, that looks are all that really matters…to people (i.e., the media).

            And that’s exactly what’s wrong with this generation, girls are so caught up in the media that they feel as though that’s what they have to keep up with and level up to. I do believe that the media has a huge impact on girls confidence and self-esteem and that they do believe if they don’t look a certain way, then people won’t look at them a second time. When’s the last time you’ve seen a big girl in a video as one of the “sexy video vixens”? Don’t worry, I’ll (weight)…Exactly. Or when’s the last time you’ve seen a big girl referred to as “A bad bitch”? Has my point been proven so far or shall I keep going? Maybe this is going off track a little, maybe it’s exactly on point, but some where it does fall into place, right? And I don’t care if it doesn’t because I have confidence in what I’m writing and trying to prove to people. Whens the last times you’ve heard a guy say to a big girl “Your pretty” not because she’s a pretty big girl, but because she’s just pretty? People act like because you may be big, you can’t be pretty; you can’t be “A bad bitch.” But there it is right there: “A bad bitch” Girls want to be “A bad bitch” because that’s what boys want, that’s what boys referrer to as a typical pretty girl that’s skinny, has a big butt and fake hair down to her ass. If this sounds as if I’m getting to “personal” or to “into it” or taking it to “deep”, it’s because its real, this is our generation, this is what it has been boiled down to, and people don’t see it. There ignorant to these facts. Why would anyone want to be or answer to “A bad bitch” anyway? And if you do, then you’re a bad dog that deserves to be beat with a rolled up newspaper.

            When’s the last time you heard somebody say “You’re pretty to be dark-skinned?” Whens the last time you came across a girl who really loves being dark skinned or hates being dark skinned because they think light skinned girls are prettier? Whens the last time you met a girl that doesn’t desire to have a big butt? Whens the last time you came across a girl that is plus sized and desperately wants to be skinny? Whens the last time you came across a girl that didn’t want to change something about her? If you have come across these girls and they want to change something about them, it’s because they lack some kind of confidence and in some cases, they don’t love their selves. Because if you love something, why would you want to change it? And girls who are not like this and love themselves no matter the shape or complexion; they’re the ones that have the confidence and embraces it. They are the ones who know and believe they are beautiful no matter what people say. They love their selves and these girls I applaud. I applaud you for loving you, for not wanting to change who you are, for saying fuck society and fuck the media with both middle fingers up.

            I think I did get a little of topic here, but did I really? Confidence is something you should have in yourself no matter what you look like. If you don’t, than you need to look in the mirror every day and say to yourself “I am beautiful, and I’m stupid to think otherwise.” (Laughs) We all have beauty in us; we are all beautiful in our own ways. Why is it that, it always boils down to looks, why is it that no one can understand this? Why is it that, we always feel like we have to please society, and keep up with it? Why can’t we just love who we are, and leave it at that?