"Oh Baby, I'm Using You"

            Usually when I take like breaks like this, it’s because I’m getting my thoughts together for my next blog entry. And I’m making sure my thoughts are clear and understandable for my readers. I’m also making sure I can thoroughly explain my points and justify my reasons of whatever I’m about to write or explain. And by now, you all (my readers) should know I write what I know, I write about real life situations and real life feelings and experiences because I know somewhere out there feels the same and I’m not the only one going through what I go through, and that’s one of the major reasons why I blog, to reach out to others, letting them know you’re not alone, and that somewhere out there, someone is going through the same thing.

So with all that being said, let’s dive into the point of this here blog entry with a question you can ask yourselves

 

Have you ever liked (and I use the word “like” loosely for my own feelings) someone, and know they could be the “perfect one” for you, but in your mind you know you don’t want any more from that person than you already have?

 

Let’s simplify that a little more: Have you ever liked someone that you could build the “perfect” relationship with, but you don’t want them in that way?

         Like you sit and wonder about this person and how you two could have a strong relationship with and all the good stuff, and it’s just something about them that makes them out to be the right one for you, but for some reason, you just don’t see that happening, you just don’t feel it. You know everyone around you like your friends, family etc, would love them and see that they’re right for you, but you don’t feel it.

          Well, if you haven’t figured it out already, of course I feel this way about someone I’ve been dealing with. We’ve been “friends” a little more than a usual friendship but nothing that got serious. I like him enough to continue with what we have or with what it is but I just don’t see it going anywhere. It has crossed my mind more than once if it would be taken to the next level but I don’t even think I like him that way, which is confusing in some ways because why do I like him enough to do what it is we do, but not enough to make it serious. Sometimes I think I’m too afraid to admit it myself the reason why I don’t like him in that way. I know that it only matters what I think of him and that as long as I “like” him, there shouldn’t be a problem, but sometimes when you know people rely on physical appearance and material things, deep down, it stops you from moving forward with your own decision. Not that I want a relationship with him in anyway, but I’m just saying.

            Why is it that we allow ourselves to do things with people knowing that we don’t intend to take it to another level? Like the way some boys only have intentions to have sex with girls knowing they don’t want a relationship with her. It’s like we’re okay with just using people for the things we need them for and we seem to be okay with it. And it’s not okay because if we really think about it, we wouldn’t be okay if we knew that someone was just using us for something, we would just cut it off with him or her and that’d be the end of it. But for some reason we continue to do what we do, we choose to ignore it all.

            I know why I use this guy for what I use him for, yeah it may be wrong but at the end of the day, I don’t know his real feelings towards me or if he even feels anything. If I did, I most likely wouldn’t use him for what I use him for. Maybe he uses me for something in which I wouldn’t know what it would be, maybe he just uses me for me, he just likes the fact that we talk and that he has “someone”. I would never know unless he tells me. And I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know if he feels anything because I only want what it is we have.