Why am I not in a Relationship?

I feel like I have to answer the question “Why I’m not in a Relationship?” not only to explain why to people (i.e. friends), but to myself as well. My friends are like my family now and I love them both dearly. We are always there for each other’s trials and tribulations but when it comes to boys and advice we pretty much all have our own ways of helping each other out. For instance Daria (who I go to more often) is kind of like me; she talks and gives advice looking from all perspectives and angles. Keyona on the other hand, is a little more “complicated?” She is always the first one to say “F**k that Nigga.” And that’s fine and all in some cases, but when where discussing my issues, I need more than that, and that’s why I go to Daria more often. But I do have my disagreements with Daria when it comes to boys and relationships as well. Now Daria is primarily the reason why I came up with the blog topic this week and I finally thought about it enough to write it. And reason being is because she is always the one that kind of compares us when I have input on our “girl talk.” We’ll talk about whatever and I state my opinions on the topic at hand, and if Daria doesn’t like it she’ll say something like “But do you have a boyfriend though” or “but do you talk to anybody though.” And sometimes I’ll start to get defensive and wonder “why do I have to have a “boyfriend” in order to help out with my thoughts and advice?” And situations like these made me think “Why am I not in a relationship?”

            I think relationships are great and fine and nice when you allow someone to be there for you through thick and thin, and all that. But as I look over life and observe, I finally feel like I realized what they really are about. To me, relationships are something that allows you to have potential in someone; Potential in allowing them to come into your life, be a part of you, your life and family and then some. I look at relationships as something like a big deal and they kind of are once you think about it. You open your heart for someone to enter it, this gives them the power to hurt you, mistreat you, and mislead you. But if a relationship is something you’re ready for, then trust becomes something you have to get to know pretty well in order to be in a relationship. Relationships revolve around trust, they just do. You don’t know what will happen in it, and I’m not saying that all relationships will be like this, but things like this can happen.

            Some people will say well that’s where “love” and “communication” falls into place to work things out. When “bad things” happen in a relationship, you have to ask yourself is this worth fighting for, and seeing if the relationship is something you want to be in. All this is fine and dandy, but like I said; to me relationships are a big deal. Being with someone is not just about them being cute or because you both look good together, it’s about having them come into your life, arms open wide and accepting everything that comes with them. Having them be there for you, helping you with your problems, those problems becoming their problems, their problems becoming yours. Realizing that you both want to be with each other because you want to build something, realizing that you both are good for each other and you both make each other strong and happy. You can’t just jump into a relationship and end it just as quickly as it started because you don’t like what might have happened. Relationships are long term and become serious, and I think sometimes people jump into them just to be in one not fully understanding, and that’s when people get hurt. This generation forgot or never understood from the beginning what a relationship is all about. They cheat, lie, and some aspects of it all it isn’t real. Some people make it a competition and a trend. I’ve come to be an old school type of girl when it comes to life, relationships and dating, and they are no longer what they use to be.

            So, “Why am I not in a Relationship?” simply because, I’m not ready. I’m not ready to let some guy into my life and giving him the opportunity to hurt me, not saying that he will, but I’ve been through things that I’m not ready to let happen again. I need to have time to myself, get my head on more right than it already is. I need to focus on myself, rebuild my trust to let people in, and have a clear mind set on what I want in my life because I don’t have time to waste. So until I meet a MAN, who is dedicated into respecting me, helping me, being there for me, has intentions on doing right by me, and loving me (and vice versa), I’m not ready for a relationship.