I always dreamed of having a very successful career,
meeting a man and falling in love, getting married and enjoying the biggest
most spectacular wedding ever, having a family and love being married to that
man I couldn’t see me living without. I gave that fantasy up. I gave it up a
couple years ago when I stopped believing in fairytales. Growing up Disney
channel and Pixar movies always portrayed the idea that every girl around the
world whether a princess (Cinderella) or a fighter (Mulan) would always, at the
end of it all end up with their prince charming. In some cases that does
happen, but does it happen like that? Is what they show how it really goes? Is
it how it will all end up? No, of course it doesn’t happen like that. They fail
to point out the reality of it all, they fail to tell the truth about all the
endless heartbreaks women face year after year, day after day. How some women,
sometimes all, are treated to bad and never know how to deal with a “good man”
once he comes around. These movies lie to young girls and once they get old
enough to date or whatever, and they realize what they saw isn’t true, then
what? I’m not saying that these movies ruined my idea of what love is or
nothing like that, no not at all. What I am saying is somewhere out there;
there should be something that warns us and helps us realize fairytales don’t
really happen. However, I decided to reconsider my decision, and I decided to
keep faith. And I did so for many reasons.
Almost
half my life I always said I wanted to marry a white man (laughs). I always
liked white men and thought they were just the cutest people ever. No I didn’t
have the mind set of “Oh, I can’t marry this man or that man because he’s not
white”, no I never thought that, me wanting to marry a white man was just a
thought. I always saw happy married couples on TV and majority of the time, the
husband was white and very attractive. I was attracted to white men; I still
am… a little. But over the past few years, I’ve noticed some things that has
changed my mind and has inspired me to believe in Black Love. My Family.
There
are a lot of couples, relationships, and even marriages that sadly end up
coming to an end, but somehow my family doesn’t fit into that “statistic”. I
look over the years and realize that my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents,
all pretty much have strong marriages and that, I admire. Even my mom has found
someone who she has a strong bond with, and that’s hard to have after a
divorce. All these strong marriages only give me faith and courage to find
black love after so many people have talked down on it, abandoned it, and
stopped believing in it. I had stopped believing in it, but like I said my
family has inspired me and has made me reconsider finding black love because it
really is a beautiful thing. I love seeing happy black couples, it just makes
me smile and feel good. I look at black love as a strong bond between two
people who love each other dearly and has decided to spend the rest of their
days with. That sounds like any marriage but black love is something special,
black love isn’t like any other love you might come across. It’s strong,
powerful, encouraging, and special.
A
lot of people end relationships too early and easily instead of trying to work
it out. They forget that communication is the most important key to a healthy
bond. You can’t end a relationship over something so silly like and argument
about something small. If people only get into relationships to end them so quickly,
then how will love fully prosper? You can’t end a relationship when something
bad happens or something goes wrong, people will stop falling in love that way.
Having problems in relationships and fixing them, shows you don’t want to let
that other person go. And falling in love is important and special. I don’t
want to get into a relationship just to end it. I’m almost 21 years old and in
college, I don’t want a high school relationship. I want something with someone
I can build with. I’m not saying that the first person that comes along into my
life and we seriously date will have to be the one I marry, no. But I don’t
want to play games and waste my time or his. If I do end up into a very serious
relationship and something happens where it’ll have to end, then I’m okay with
that. It’ll just teach a lesson that I’ll put to use into the next relationship
that comes along. You live and you learn, that’s what life is pretty much
about. I need a man that will be on my level and that is on my level. When he
comes along and he happens to ask for my hand in marriage, he has to fit the
standards. I’m not a child any more where we can play husband and wife, go home
and come out to play the next day. This is real life, there’s no more playing
around, I know what I want out of this life I’m living and I’ll be damned if it
doesn’t happen.
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